Cynicism
by Shadow over Egypt
Summary: People deal with things differently. Some spout off speeches, some chase crushes, some run billion dollar companies. Yami sends people mad, and Bakura kills people. So, as Ryou Bakura reflects, what's wrong with being a little cynical? [oneshot]


**Shadow: **This was written in just over an hour and I have absolutely _no _idea where it came from. I think it's kinda funny, in a sick, twisted sort of way, but wasn't all too sure what genre to stick it in. I'm probably damned to hell for this little one-shot but _hey, _who gives a damn right now? Enjoy!

_Warnings: _Dark themes. Blood. Character Death. Sarcasm. Dryness. And _oh, _as the title suggests, more than a touch of cynicism.** You have been warned.

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**Cynicism**

_And people say I'm a cynic..._

If someone were to walk up right up to Ryou Bakura and say he were too cynical, Ryou Bakura would probably very well agree with them.

Not that any one _would _go right up to Ryou Bakura and say that – come on, _seriously,_ how many people in the world actually knew the word 'cynical' existed? Or at least had it as part of their everyday vocabulary?

Then there was the whole psychotic-yami-in-the-Ring business. Yeah…Ryou Bakura could quite easily put bets on most sane people being scared off by the murderous spirit's smirk within three feet. Anyone who came closer than _that _probably wasn't all there in the head, or had enough magical energy to blast said spirit's ass into next week with a few days added on depending on whether Yugi's yami had been in a good mood or not. And just exactly _how _annoying Bakura had been that day.

It varied, sometimes. There had usually been an obvious link between how annoying Bakura had been and how much Yami had ignored him. Now and then. Ryou had the sneaky feeling that Yami had just blasted Bakura sometimes for the simple fact the thief hadn't like him –

Not that he'd say that of course.

But – ah – he was getting off track. Yes. Ryou Bakura would happily agree with anyone who had the courage – or the sheer stupidity, it was a toss-up between the two, really – to come right up to him and say he was too cynical to his face. Even though, as he'd said before, that wasn't likely to happen because a) not many people even knew what the word 'cynical' _meant, _and b) most people got chased off at three feet by a homicidal spirit. Anyone who was stupid enough to get within two feet was risking valuable body parts.

There was a point in there. Somewhere.

Probably.

Things had been a bit pointless lately…

Ryou sighed, smacking his head of the glass window in his room out of sheer boredom, brushing a little of the liquid that had splashed his face earlier off of his cheek. He was bored inside, it was boring outside, and the sky was raining and he didn't want to get wet. Bakura was jubilant after a hard day's work and the Ring was silent and frankly Ryou Bakura was quite happy just letting things be as they were as he continued to watch the water run down his window. Great thing, rain. Absolutely fabulous, life-giving thing that he should probably thank the Lord God almighty for but he'd torn down his crucifix – what? A year ago? Discovering an ancient Egyptian tomb-robber in one's head tended to have rather a dampener of one's faith. Especially when said ancient Egyptian tomb-robber had managed to take residence in there by means of ancient, pagan ritual. Yeah, uh-huh. Ryou sincerely wished 'he had seen the light' for once in his life before he'd given up on God simply so he could 'nyah' to his childhood priest who had been _really _full of himself. Even more so when he'd started insisting to Ryou's father that he – 'the white-haired demon' (if he recalled correctly) – was possessed. Said man had been all gung-ho for exorcism but there had been the slight problem of him ending up in a coma sometime before Ryou and his father had left England for Japan. Mysterious that.

But…Ryou had still never seen the light. Which was both a good and bad thing, depending on which way you looked at it. _Good_ in the sense that light equalled Heaven and Ryou _really _wasn't quite ready to head on up there and explain to God why he didn't believe in him anymore and _bad _in the sense that maybe just _maybe _said light might shed a little of itself on the utter _mess _Bakura made of his soulroom in the Ring. _Seriously. _The place was a pig-sty. Ryou just had to guess ancient tomb-robber did _not _equal height of tidiness. Yeah…'cleanliness is next to godliness' and all that jazz. One thing Ryou Bakura could say one hundred percent for certain was that the simply _charming_ spirit who took up residence in the Ring was definitely no _God. _On that same note though…Ryou bet Yugihad had no problem in getting _Yami_ to keep the Puzzletidy. If Pharaoh – the living incarnation of Horus and/or Ra (that could depend on how snotty said Pharaoh felt) – hadn't of been a god they were pretty much all doomed.

Oh _wait. _He wasn't supposed to _say _that. They had Yami and Yugi to save the day.

Another bang off of the window, raindrops shaking on the outside at Ryou's frustration, drying droplets shaking on within. Spattering on his already coated hand, smearing the window. Whoops, _dirty. _

Sure, Yugi had saved the world a couple of times now. Yeah, that had been fun, great, absolutely fan-fucking-tastic. Whoop-de-doo. And the faithful band of yay-yay-Yami-Yugi cheerleaders chucked confetti happily in the air and everything was sunshine and daisies all day long. Gather all ye round the campfire while 'holier-than-thou' Yugi Mouto and his perfect Yami re-tell the tale of when the saved the world – yeah sorry, you'll have to be a _little _more specific. Which time are we talking about here? Third time, fourth time? No? _Neither? _Oh – right – I'll just settle down then. Popcorn, Kaiba?

Not that he was complaining or anything oh _no…_ Ryou Bakura was that 'sweet, darling boy' who was so 'innocent' and 'charming'. Who was cute – but never _as _cute as Yugi -, who was smart – but never _as _smart as Yugi-, who was quiet – but never _as _quiet as Yugi. Oh, he was a regular second-grade hikari was Ryou Bakura all right. Oh no – _wait. _He wasn't second-grade; he had to have _confidence _in himself. What would Anzu say? He was forgetting her oh-so-inspirational pep-talks already.

_Shocking. _

Fine then. He wasn't second-grade. He was wonderful, great, fantastic – but _oh, _not like _Yugi. _Ryou Bakura was an amazing hikari – but never _as _amazing as Yugi. Yugi, Yugi, Yugi. Who had died and made the boy King?

Oh – _Yami. _Ryou had almost _forgotten _that for a second there. That would never have done. Yugi Mouto, second thoughts in his loyal friend's, Ryou Bakura's mind?

The world was simply _collapsing_ around them.

Happy, happy, happy. Wasn't everything _fine? _Ah, it frankly didn't bother Ryou if the world went to Hell; he knew its master by first name and Satan's name was _Bakura. _Oh…that was funny. Bakura was _his _name. Was he damned? Or was his yami damned? Or were they both damned in one big pit of damnation with Yami as the all-powerful judge and Yugi his little winged cherub?

The winged cherubs had always annoyed him, now Ryou thought about it. They were basically these little blobs of flesh with wings and happy, happy faces. He wondered what would happen if he burned one…

Ryou knew his yami had a policy where death and damnation were concerned. For a tomb-robber, it was quite profound. _'Why serve in Heaven if you can rule in Hell?'_

Why serve in Heaven _indeed. _Why serve anywhere? If this were it and there were nothing afterwards you'd have wasted your one chance at life achieving nothing. Unless of course you were an ancient spirit from Egypt he knew how to lock half of one soul away in a shiny gold Item and thereby make oneself immortal.

…He really had to see Bakura about that one…

It would save on the whole confrontation at the pearly gates thing.

Considerably.

Bakura wasn't that bad a yami, regardless of what the others' thought. Sure, he had his moments, but didn't they all? Everyone had their way of dealing with things. Some smiled, some spouted off friendship speeches, some chatted up their best friend's sister and then ran for their lives as their best friend chased them away. Some built multibillion dollar companies and some saved the world if there was time between school, food and sleep. Yami drove people insane, Bakura killed people. There was little difference, really.

It had finally stopped raining. Relieved, Ryou Bakura got to his feet, almost tripping over the lump on the floor on his way to the bathroom. He cursed as he caught himself on the doorframe, switching the light on beside him and rubbing his shoulder where he'd smacked it, thoroughly ruining his shirt.

Soft brown eyes looked back at him from the bathroom mirror, an expression of grace, an angel who was Satan's fucking accomplice. But hadn't Satan been an angel once? Oh, that had been the way to Fall…

The sink was filled with water, the blood sluicing off Ryou's skin easily when he used soap. The hikari was used to cleaning messes; he made enough of his own sometimes. Still, some of the bits where the red liquid had begun to dry were hard to get off. Picking at them turned Ryou's own skin red, but he didn't mind. He could easily borrow a long-sleeved shirt from Yugi to cover his arms. He was sure the spiky-haired duelist had at least _one _somewhere. Speaking of Yugi…

Ryou bit his lip as he glanced over his shoulder, the contrast between the well-lit white bathroom he was in and the darkness he had left behind startling. A towel dried Ryou's hair and skin as he wandered back into what had once been his 'friend's' bedroom, picking his way carefully across the floor to avoid the blood that was pooled…well, pretty much everywhere. Bakura _had _made a bit of a mess, hadn't he?

Yugi's closet was thrown open, Ryou having to rifle around for a good ten minutes before finally finding a shirt with long sleeves. That he pulled over his still slightly-damp torso, soft material sticking in some places where he hadn't completely dried himself. Ah well…

A prod from the Ring. Bakura was sentient again? _Joy. _Nice of him to turn up in the end again. This was _his _fault anyway. A dagger grabbed, pulled with some resistance from the body of a 'friend', inverted commas required for sanity. Wonderful thing…sanity, that was. People did this, and this and that and the other, simply to preserve their God-damned _sanity. _

_Wait. _Oh…that was quite a paradox. Could he still God-damn people if he didn't believe in God? Hm – best to leave that till later, Bakura was nagging.

No time to stop and admire Bakura's work then? _Yes? _Ryou had to smile. Tomb-robbers were vain creatures by nature, Thief Kings worse. The two combined…well, there was Bakura to look at, wasn't there?

Glassy lavender eyes looked at the ceiling, depths swirled with more than a tint of crimson. Yugi partway to Yami. Yami Yugi then? _Dark Game. _Well…this particular Dark Game was over. The darkness could still be around though –

The _Puzzle!_

Ryou grabbed the Item even while Bakura was berating him. If they'd left that behind-

But he hadn't. So Bakura should really take note of the fact he had gotten it and wasn't he learning quickly? Not bad for someone who was a second-grade hikari…unless…he was first now, right? Default said so. _Yay _default. Maybe he should inform Kaiba of the fact?

…No. The teenage CEO would find out soon enough. And be incensed, probably, that Yami Yugi had once and for all beaten him, and in a way that meant Kaiba-kun could never get the Champion title back off of him in a match.

Oh, Bakura was pleased. A two-in-one strike? Yes, fantastic. Wonderful. Couldn't the yami hear the joy in Ryou's voice? Yes, Bakura, he was always like that. Bakura's charming personality rubbed off on people after a while... So _what _if he was cynical?

Ryou Bakura breathed deeply as he left the Kame Game Shop, relishing in the freshness that was left in the air after the rain. The blood that had somehow got onto the soles of his feet was wiped off on the grass, the white-haired hikari running cheerfully back to his home. As he'd said before, people had different ways of dealing with things. Some smiled, some spouted off friendship speeches, some chatted up their best friend's sister and then ran for their lives as their best friend chased them away. Some built multibillion dollar companies and some saved the world if there was time between school, food and sleep. Yami drove people insane, Bakura killed people. Ryou was just a little cynical.

And if anyone was brave enough to go right up to his face and say it, he'd agree with them.


End file.
